The Effects of Domestic Violence on Children

Research indicates that children who are both abused and witness abuse of others in their household experience the most negative effects.  However, children who only witness the abuse of their mothers experience developmental, behavioral, physical, or emotional problems similar to those experienced by physically abused children.^4,5  That is a profound statement: Children who only witness the abuse of their mothers react as if they, themselves, have been abused. 

How a child may be affected depends on the individual child and his/her personality, his/her age, the extent of the violence, how much they are exposed, and the extent to which they are involved, and the support available to them.³  Generally, the younger the child and the longer the exposure, the greater the likelihood that the exposure to violence will leave a lasting impact.⁵  Below are listed some of the problems children who witness domestic violence may experience:

Developmental:

• delays or regression in development

• speech disorders

Behavioral:

• sleep problems

• fighting with peers/aggression (especially boys)

• temper tantrums

• bed-wetting

• becoming passive/withdrawn (especially girls)

• inability to concentrate

• poor grades in school

• delinquency

Physical:

• headaches

• stomachaches/ulcers/diarrhea

• nausea/vomiting

• alcohol/drug abuse

• eating disorders

Emotional:

• low self-esteem

• inability to control or properly display emotion

• inability to delay gratification

• anxiety/high levels of stress

• feelings of helplessness/hopelessness/depression

• feelings of guilt/responsibility for the violence

• loss of empathy

• lack of trust in others

• Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

• suicidal ideations

Whether or not the child is experiencing abuse, or only witnessing abuse perpetrated against other loved-ones, the child may still experience serious psychological trauma that can follow him or her into adulthood.  Children who grow-up witnessing violence learn anti-social behaviors. They do not learn the skills for peaceful problem-solving.⁵  Instead, they may learn to condone violence or the threat of violence as the only way to get what they want/need.²  They may imitate the violent adult behavior they observe by victimizing younger/weaker children or animals.  Other children may adopt the "victim" role and become withdrawn and passive, an "easy target" for other abusers.  Because they lack a positive model, children who are exposed to abuse between their parents may have difficulties forming and maintaining healthy relationships as they grow older.  ²  This has long-term implications, as children of batters are more likely to become batters (or be battered) themselves.³  

Perhaps the most sad of all, children who witness violence between family members learn that the person who loves you the most also hits you the most.⁵