IMMEDIATE CONCERNS*

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Given the overwhelming tragedy that has just struck, homicide survivors often find their lives shattered, and their focus may drift from the more mundane and practical issues that continue to arise in day-to-day life. Below is a list of concerns that may become important immediately following a homicide, and topics that survivors often find themselves dealing with in the aftermath of a loved one’s murder.

1) As soon as possible, try to gather your support system around you. If you cannot make the necessary calls to those who need to be notified, have a trusted friend or neighbor assist with that responsibility. Sometimes, a police officer will make the initial call. Having others around you that share common memories and common pain will often make it easier to talk about what has happened and the feelings that have resulted.  They can also help you take care of immediate issues, such as crime scene clean-up.

2) Be aware that the media may take an interest in your loved one’s homicide. While many reporters strive to be very sensitive to the feelings of homicide survivors, some get caught up in the quest for sensational, fast-breaking news. Even if the story is covered with the utmost of respect for family and friends of the deceased, however, just seeing or hearing about the crime on the news may be devastating. Survivors can feel a little more in control if they select someone in their support system, a family member or friend, who will be responsible for protecting the family’s privacy. They can be appointed as the media contact to answer any media questions, or can do something as simple as read newspapers first, then advise others if a story is present. Most importantly, homicide survivors should know that they are under no obligation to speak with reporters unless the survivors so desire.

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3) In this difficult time, it is important to remember to take care of yourself. Your mind and body may have been through a terrible shock. Some people experience symptoms such as headaches or nausea; others have bad dreams or mood swings. These are normal responses to the abnormal situation of experiencing a tragic loss. While it may be difficult, homicide survivors should try to get adequate amounts of sleep and eat regular meals. Failing to get proper rest and nutrition will only undermined a shocked system even more and may lead to increased fatigue, lack of motivation, and physical illness. Exercise is also important and may even service as a "release valve" for negative emotions. In the days that follow, try not to take on too many things at once and overwhelm yourself. You may not be at peak performance and you should not expect yourself to be able to perform all your normal tasks with your usual efficiency in the immediate aftermath of finding out about your loved one’s murder.

4) Within a very short time, arrangements will need to be made concerning your loved one’s funeral. This is an extremely difficult necessity, especially when someone’s life has ended suddenly, violently, and unexpectedly. It is easier for some individuals to contact a funeral home and make arrangements for services for their loved one. For others, it may be necessary for a friend of the family to make initial contact with the funeral home and preliminary arrangements, leaving the family to make the more important decisions. For some, burial or cremation of their loved one may be complicated by police investigations. Homicide survivors should this bear in mind when making preparations. It is also important to note that homicide survivors may be eligible to seek assistance in paying burial expenses through the Criminal Injuries Compensation Fund. Your local Victim-Witness Assistance Program can provide more information and the application form. For York County and the City of Poquoson, the number is (757) 890-3402.

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