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Discipline is a whole
system of teaching based on a good relationship, praise, appropriate
expectations for the child's age and stage of development, and
instruction for the child on how to control his or her behavior.
Effective discipline
should take place all the time, not just when children misbehave.
Children are more likely to change their behavior when they feel
encouraged and valued, not shamed and humiliated. Children who
feel good about themselves cherish their relationship with their parents
and are more likely to listen and learn.
Parents can avoid the
power struggles which lead to trouble by:
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Offer choices
whenever possible.
"Would
you like to ride in the cart or walk beside me?"
-
Make a game of good
behavior.
"Let's have a race to see who can put on his/her coat
fastest."
-
Plan ahead.
Go shopping when the child is well-rested and well-fed. Talk
about where you are going and what behavior you expect and pack a
small toy for amusement if the child gets bored.
-
Praise good
behavior.
"Thank you for staying close to me in the store."
Some discipline
strategies that work are:
Natural and logical
consequences -
An example of a natural consequence is: if the child throws and breaks
his/her toy, she/he will no longer have the toy to play with. If
the child does not pick up his/her toys, he/she may not care, but you
do. Therefore set up a logical consequence. If he/she does
not pick up his/her toys and you have to do it, you will not allow
him/her to play with them again for a whole day. Let the child
know the consequences in a calm, matter-of-fact way and then follow
through immediately and consistently.
Parental
Disappointment -
Your children want to please you, so let them know if you are not
pleased with their behavior. "I'm disappointed that you chose
to take that toy away from your sister rather than sharing it."
Withholding privileges
-
If your child does not cooperate with you, he/she must give up something
he/she likes. For instance, if he/she does not set the table
before dinner, which is his/her assigned chore, then he/she will not be
able to play video games that evening. Never take away something
your child truly needs, like a meal and, as with other strategies, be
sure you follow through.
Time-out
- Time-outs work well when the behavior you are trying to stop is
clearly defined and you know when it occurred. They can be helpful
if you need a break in the action (for example, if your child is hitting
a sibling or a friend).
Children are constantly
learning what their limits are and they need their parents to help them
understand those limits. By doing so, parents can help their
children feel capable and loved, learn right from wrong, and develop
good behavior and a positive approach toward life.
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